The Occupational Adventure (tm)

Step outside yourself to assess change

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

One of the things I consistently see in my work with clients is a frustration with the pace of change. Part of this is a culturally conditioned desire for change at the flip of a switch, but part of it is that they are so close to what is happening (i.e., they're inside what's happening), day in and day out, that they don't see the change.

It's kind of like being around a kid who is growing. When you are constantly around them, the daily change is still pretty incremental, and while you notice their growth, you don't see the big jump. But when someone who hasn't seen them in six months sees them they say, "Wow! You've grown!"

When I see that frustration, I will often refer back to the benchmark of the beginning. "Remember what things were like when you first decided to contact me? Look at how much has changed since then." It puts things in perspective.

Here's a study that found that taking an external look at change can have a substantial impact on how much change you perceive has taken place.

The researchers did a series of studies in which they asked people to picture a given event in their own lives from either a first-person or third-person perspective. The participants were then asked how much they had changed since the event had occurred.

In one study, they asked 38 college students who had been in psychotherapy to recall their very first treatment appointment. About half were told to visualize that appointment “looking out at your surroundings through your own eyes” (first-person). The other half were told to visualize that first treatment “from an observer’s visual perspective” (third-person).

All the participants rated how much they had changed since their first appointment on a scale of 0 (not at all) to 10 (completely). Results showed that people who were told to picture that initial treatment from a third-person perspective saw more change in themselves (average score of 7.18) than did those who were told to take the first-person viewpoint (average score of 5.64).

A perceived lack of progress can be frustrating and demotivating. Taking an objective look can help you get a more realistic picture, which in turn can help you stick with your efforts and keep moving forward.

Take a look at any of the change you're working towards in your life. Does it feel like you've made much progress? Then look at it from a 3rd person perspective. Notice any difference?

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

The stupid secret to success

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

A conversation with a friend the other day about learning languages (my Swedish is reasonably fluent and my Spanish is functionally ugly - both are self-taught), got me thinking about the parallels between learning a language and accomplishing anything new and cool in life.

One of the big obstacles many people have to getting fluent in a language is a reluctance to open their mouths and start speaking because they don't want to look stupid. They know they're going to stumble and stagger around, so they don't want to open their mouths at all.

Looking back on the language learning I've done so far, one of my biggest secrets to success has been a complete and utter lack of shame. With both Swedish and Spanish, I just accepted the fact that sounding stupid goes with the territory and focused on what I was really trying to do - communicate.

Of course, the more I opened my mouth, the easier it got, the more fluent I became, and the more comfortable I felt with speaking.

There's an obvious parallel there with success at trying to do something new in your life. Starting something new is often inherently about starting at the beginner stage. When you're at that stage, you have two choices about how to experience it:

1. Focus on what you can't do and what's wrong about that (I can't speak fluently and I sound so stupid!), or...

2. Focus on what you're doing and what you're achieving (I'm communicating and carrying on this conversation is easier this week than it was last week!)

Letting yourself be new and clumsy and focusing on what you're doing and achieving instead of what you can't do and why that sucks frees you up to be in the moment and learn. And paradoxically, the more you can be comfortable with that state where things feel awkward and uncertain, the faster you will move past it.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Prepare to take flight (step by step)

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that for every one person who has the amazing, mind-boggling breakthrough that lets them fly higher than they'd ever dreamed (the Tony-Robbins-walking-on-coals-music-pumped-up variety), there are a hundred who stay stuck because it's all just too scary for them. Or to unreal. Or too whatever.

At the same time, I have seen the very real, substantial, long-lasting positive change my clients and others have made by taking small steps and building on them.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not putting down the high-flying turbo-charged approach. In fact, I love the life-changing inspiration that can come from that. I just know that it's not an all or nothing game. Turning your dream into reality can start with small steps.

That's not to say there will never be any flying involved. At some point along the way, you will inevitably reach a spot where you have to take a leap. Jumping into something scary and new. Taking a risk.

But for so many people, the first step is simply breaking out of the inertia of their current reality and turning the ship in a new direction. Once you start taking those steps, you start setting things in motion. You start building confidence, and doors start to open you had no idea were there. Not by magic, but because action creates opportunity.

Taking steps prepares you to fly. Put it this way. It's a lot easier for a plane to take off when it's moving down the runway than it is when it's just sitting on the tarmac. When it's just sitting there, it's basically just a huge paperweight - it's the plane's momentum that allows it to take off.

What steps can you start taking right now to prepare to take flight?

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

When WILL the time be right for change?

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Have you ever found yourself saying something like this..."I really need to make a change, but the time just isn't right."

"The time isn't right." That short little phrase has the potential to keep you trapped in the wrong situation indefinitely. I see that all the time. One day slides into the next. One week slides into the next. One month slides into...well, you get the picture. 

When someone says, "it's not the right time," there are two possibilities as to what they really mean:

1) There really *are* some things in the picture that make right now not the right time.

2) "It's not the right time" actually translates to, "this is kind of scary and looks like a lot of work, so maybe I'll do it later."

If you look at your situation and it's the former, I encourage you to define what "the right time" looks like. Ask yourself, why, specifically, is now not the right time? What needs to be different in order for it to be the right time? If you don't look at that very consciously, it's really easy for months and even years to slip past without making a change.

If you look at it honestly and realize that it's the latter possibility, I would encourage you to think seriously about taking action in spite of the discomfort. The truth is, the prospect of change never gets less comfortable - it's just that being in the wrong situation gets progressively more UNcomfortable. Using "the time isn't right" to procrastinate runs the risk of letting a less than preferable situation drag on, again, for months or even years.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Time management for life transitions

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

No change is going to happen without the time to make it happen. Here's an article with ten ideas for squeezing the time out of your schedule to put towards creating the future you want.

I love the way it starts:

A life transition calls for a new concept of time. You no longer have the luxury of waiting to clear the deck so you can focus on your new goal. You've moved to fantasyland when you say, "I'll begin planning my transition next month, when I have more time."

Next month you might have less time -- and a new crisis, too.

That's so true. That fits with what I always say about career change... The time will never be "right." You will always be able to find a good reason why you should wait until later. Don't! Figure out a way to start right now.

This article offers some good ways to start.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Helping hands for meaningful change

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Welcome to the new year. 'Tis the season for setting yourself up for failure.

Ouch! Hardly an inspiring message. What gives?

A recent study showed that only 8% of the people who responded say they always achieve their New Years resolutions. It seems to be a yearly ritual to grit our teeth January 1st and say, "I'm going to change," only to watch that commitment dissolve back into the status quo.

If you want to make meaningful change in your life this year, I have one thought for you. Don't do it alone. Reach out and get a helping hand. For example...

Get a coach:
I can't tell you how many times someone has explored working with me, decided they  can figure it out themselves, and come back to a year or so later (a bit sheepishly) when it didn't work. In the end, they realized that they needed a helping hand to figure it out and to make it happen.

If you're looking at a career change, of course my first recommendation is my Passion Catalyst work. But obviously the time I have available is far smaller than the need out there, so I want to give a plug for coaches in general as well. There are a lot of great coaches out there. Whether it is career-related, health-related, balance-related, etc., working with a coach can help you stop spinning your wheels and make meaningful change.

Find a change partner
Even if you decide that the time isn't right to work with a coach, it's still beneficial to bring someone else into the picture. Find a "change partner," someone you can tell about the change you are committing to. Ideally that person is committing to some kind of change as well. Over time, the two of you can both support each other and hold each other accountable.

Form a change group
A group of people can be even better than a single person in supporting your desired change. Not only does a group give you more people who know what you are trying to do and want to support that, it is also a source of ideas and insights along the way.

Whatever change you want to create this year, resist the urge to do it alone., because the odds are stacked against you. Find those helping hands to help you fly.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Discontent can fuel positive change

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.

- Oscar Wilde

I can count on one hand and still have fingers left over the number of clients I have had who have come to me saying, "Hey Curt, I'm pretty happy with where I've been, but I need to do some serious thinking about where to from here."

Almost without exception, the spark for contacting me is the realization that they are so dissatisfied with their current path that the idea of ten more years of the same thing is somewhat akin to taking a hammer and whacking their thumb with it.

The road to positive change started when their discontent grew strong enough that it outweighed the scariness of doing something about it. If their unhappiness with where they were hadn't reached that critical mass, they would have continued in a grey haze, never reaching out and taking that all-important first step. Their discontent became fuel for positive change.

If you are unhappy with your current career path, rather than wallow in feeling crappy about it, embrace it. Look at it and say, this is exactly what I need to motivate me to take steps towards a life that really makes me feel alive.

You don't need to take all the steps at once. Career change typically unfolds over time, not with a big dramatic WHOOSH! But if you are currently dissatisfied and don't begin taking steps - and begin taking them now - ten years from now you will still be having that same conversation with yourself.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Changing your behavior

We've all done it. We decide to make a change. We're serious about this change. We know it's a change for the better. We commit to it...and then we slide back.

Oops.

Being committed to the idea of something new isn't enough. Often that change requires us to change our behavior, to develop a new habit.

I received a review copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Discovering Your Perfect Career a couple weeks ago. So far I haven't had time to do more than thumb through it, but I ran across this interesting set of statistics on behavioral change from a 1993 study at Brigham Young University.

It shows the chances of a change being incorporated into one's life in various scenarios.

When a person...

Says, "That's a good idea." 10%
Commits, "I'll do it." 25%
Says when they'll do it. 40%
Plans how to do it. 50%
Commits to someone else. 60%
Sets a specific future time to share progress with person they committed to. 95%

That, by the way, is an excellent example of why it can be so effective to work with a coach (someone like me, for example).

So when you really want to change, don't just hunker down, grit your teeth, and say, "I'm going to do things differently." The odds are against you. Reach out and find a way to bring others into your process.

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst (sm)

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Change - let go of the familiar

What keeps people stuck, craving change but unwilling to make it happen? One of the things is the discomfort of saying goodbye to the known and comfortable. Unfortunately, clinging to the known and comfortable when a change is needed leads to atrophy and stagnation.

In his Play Journal blog, Pat Kane serves up a great quote by science fiction writer Philip Dick.

Do not believe -- and I am dead serious when I say this -- do not assume that order and stability are always good, in a society or in a universe. The old, the ossified, must always give way to new life and the birth of new things. Before the new things can be born the old must perish. This is a dangerous realization, because it tells us that we must eventually part with much of what is familiar to us. And that hurts. But that is part of the script of life. Unless we can psychologically accommodate change, we ourselves begin to die, inwardly. What I am saying is that objects, customs, habits, and ways of life must perish so that the authentic human being can live. And it is the authentic human being who matters most, the viable, elastic organism which can bounce back, absorb, and deal with the new.

What is it time to let go of? What is it time to move towards?

Curt Rosengren
Passion Catalyst ^SM

Change requires action

Earlier I wrote about Robbie Richman's realization that a lot of good networking is about looking for opportunities to give. In that same post, Robbie talks about a networking opportunity he had shortly after that insight.

But crap! I forgot to do the whole giving thang. Man.

If anything, I'm learning change doesn't happen in the mind. That's the just the inspiration. The rest is practice.

That last bit was really just an afterthought to the main focus of his post, but the insight is huge in itself. Real change doesn't happen from waking up and deciding to do things differently today. It comes from putting that inspiration into action. Sometimes it's a big, huge, dramatic leap. Most often it's in small steps, practicing and building new habits.

What change do you have in your mind that needs to find its way into action? What steps can you take?

Curt Rosengren
Passion Catalyst ^SM