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September 27, 2005



I've become increasingly aware of motivations based on "shoulds" vs. "wants". Asking "Why Should I?" seems like another excellent tool through which to increase this awareness ... and to counteract my [un?]natural tendency to want to do everything I should.

I'm reminded of the concept of mitote, a fog of expectations others have placed upon us (intentionally or unintentionally), that I first read about in Don Miguel Ruiz' book, The Four Agreements. Miguel Ruiz observes

... we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else ... The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually, we become someone that we are not.

I recently discovered a technique of keeping a mitote book, wherein one journals about one's awareness of the "shoulds". It appears very similar to the process you linked to; I mention it here because of the way the mitote book draws in more themes you have mentioned in the past (such as identifying the voices of one's inner critics).

Hiren Shah

In my view, it depends on what that "should" is. Everbody will agree that everybody should breathe because otherwise they will not remain alive. The right occupation is like breathing- it is your very essence it is your very life. No point spending a majority of waking hours in acute misery. Otherwise, "Words are triggers to action" and one should try to alter the attitude through them if one can't alter the circumstances.

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