The Occupational Adventure (tm)

(So) What if I'm wrong?

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

I've been hanging out in my discomfort zone of late. Take the free audio course I recently created, for example. I wanted to create something that would both provide people with valuable content they can start applying to their careers right away, and serve as a marketing tool for my business. I had never done anything like it before.

The entire time I was working on it, I kept asking myself, "What if I'm wrong?" On the one hand, I was wondering, "What if I'm giving too much information away? What if I give so much information that people feel like there's no reason to buy what I have to offer?

On the other hand, I questioned, "What if there's too much promotional content in this? What if the fact that it has a marketing component alienates people? What if I'm laying it on too thick?"

I bounced back and forth as I created the audio course, accompanied by the question, "What if I'm wrong?"

Then at one point it occurred to me that the question was really, "SO what if I'm wrong?" Would it destroy my business? Not likely. Would it have any dire consequences that would still be echoing ten years from now. Probably not. If it were wrong, would it be easy for me to learn from that and revise it so I could do it better the next time? Yup. 

If I got the balance wrong, it was little more than a momentary blip. By asking, "What if I'm wrong" instead of, "SO what if I'm wrong, I made it much bigger and much more menacing than it really was.

Adding that one little word to the question made all the difference. It reframed the entire situation, and put the consequences in a more realistic light.

Next time you find yourself worried about doing something imperfectly, ask yourself, "So what if I'm wrong?" You might just discover that the price of being "wrong" is infinitely lower than the price of doing nothing because you were afraid of being wrong.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

How have you stretched your comfort zone?

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

I remember a job search in my mid-20's where I was faced with the prospect of contacting someone I didn't know and asking for some of their time to talk about my search. It was waaaay outside my comfort zone. I looked at the phone, and then at their contact information. And then at the phone. And then at the contact information.

Eventually I made the call, but I felt like I was imposing. I had nothing to offer this person - why would they want to talk to me?

That scenario sticks in my mind because contacting people I didn't know and jumping into their lives eventually became my m.o. The connections that has allowed me to make and the relationships it has allowed me to build have played a key role in just about everything I've been able to do in my career.

And it all started by nudging the perimeter of my comfort zone a little farther out, little by little, bit by bit.

I think that "little by little" part is hugely important. Consistently, persistently pushing at the perimeter in small ways will ultimately add up to massive expansion.

I love what Carla over at zena musings does. Each week she asks herself, "How did you reach outside your comfort zone this week?" Making it a regular part of your week-in-review raises your awareness, not just for what happened last week, but for how you might reach outside next week.

Without paying attention to it, it's easy to slide from one week to another coasting on the comfort of the known. Making it your goal to include a little adventure in the discomfort zone every week will prompt you to ask, "What can I do this week?"

So, how did you reach outside your comfort zone this week? (seems like this would make a good question meme, don't you think?)

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Comfort zone / Learning zone / Anxiety zone

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Yesterday I posted a link to a great article outlining eight keys to success. One of the keys was the ability to accept a risk.

In the article the author said, "I do not know anyone who has succeeded who has not been able to assess and take a risk and then live with the consequence - success or failure. Risk avoidance is a sure way to remain mediocre; being safe does not promote personal growth."

I also know - both from personal experience and seeing the experience of others - that that's often easier said than done.

After reading that article, I went off in search of some resources on learning to take risks and ran across this article. As the author explores the idea of taking risks, she breaks our experience into three separate zones - the comfort zone, the learning zone, and the anxiety zone.

The comfort zone is what you know and are comfortable with. The learning zone challenges you and takes you out of the known. And the anxiety zone renders you immobile because it's just too much.

That's a great way to think about it. I've noticed a tendency for people to see things in terms of only two zones - comfort and anxiety. "Either I'm in the comfort zone, or my world is at risk of imploding." And that's what keeps them stuck.

The comfort zone is a great place to stop and catch your breath, but if you stay there too long stagnation and mediocrity are the inevitable outcome. It provides a foundation, a home base for your next venture into the learning zone.

As with so much of the work I do with people, conscious awareness is a vital piece of the puzzle. Once you're consciously aware of something, you can start making choices, and that puts you in control.

Spend some time getting to know your zones. First, ask yourself what you're completely comfortable with. What can you do with your eyes closed? Then start brainstorming ideas for things you'd like to try - big and small - that would take you out of your comfort zone.

For each of those things, ask yourself where they belong, in the learning zone or the anxiety zone. If you're not sure where something belongs, ask yourself, "What steps could I take or what systems could I put in place that would make this seem more do-able?" Having a better feel for how to do it could be the difference between anxiety and learning.

Sorting the non-comfort-zone list will do two things. First, it will help you see that it's not just either comfort or anxiety. It will help you get a feel for both what seems challenging but do-able and what strikes terror into the heart.

And second, it will give you a starting point for your ventures into the learning zone. Pick something from the learning zone list and start dipping your toe in the water. It doesn't have to be big. The key right now is to just start practicing stepping outside the comfort zone.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Action is the antidote to fear

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Have you ever noticed how much bigger our fears often are than reality? They take on monstrous proportions, keeping us stuck in place when we really want to be moving forward. Then when we finally start taking steps towards whatever it is we fear we say, "Oh, that wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought. Why didn't I do that sooner?!"

In my article in Worthwhile magazine, The F Word, one of the things I talk about as an antidote to fear is action. It never ceases to amaze me how starting to take steps towards something is like letting the air out of a big fear balloon (complete with ppphhhhhtt sound effects - but maybe that's just in my head).

So much of fear's energy comes when you're in stasis. When you're sitting there and staring at the thing you fear, the energy behind that fear builds and builds. It's like a pressure cooker - the pressure builds and builds. When you start taking steps you create a release valve for that fear.

Some of that release comes by equalizing the pressure inside and out. The intensity of the fear was never in line with reality. Part of it comes because taking action and seeing success - even in small steps - builds your confidence to do even more. And part of it comes because taking steps brings you further down the path. What was unknown becomes known.

So what step can you take today? And then tomorrow? And then next week?

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Fear at the starting line

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

"I had as many doubts as anyone else. Standing on the starting line, we're all cowards."

- Alberto Salazar

When I was a kid, my sport was running. I was a distance runner.

In junior high, my biggest hero was Alberto Salazar. I can still remember sitting glued to the television, watching the New York Marathon as he set the world record (funny how the time still sticks in my head - 2 hours, 8 minutes, 13 seconds). Or the brutal sprint to the finish of the Boston Marathon as he beat Dick Beardsley by a mere two seconds.

In my view, Salazar was super-human.

So when I came across his his quote about his experience at the starting line, it had extra meaning. 

I see so many people standing at the starting line (figuratively speaking), too overcome with fear of what the race might be like to cross it. They plug their ears and hum loudly so they won't hear the starting gun.

Often, they make the assumption that they're the only ones feeling that way. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We all feel it. I feel it, and I've talked to many, many people who have done fabulous things in their careers who have felt it as well.

But a funny thing happens when you respond to that starting gun. The fear starts to dissipate. You start to see that you really can make progress. Momentum starts to build, and as I'm fond of saying, action creates opportunity.

And the more you exercise those muscles by taking action, the easier it becomes to keep taking action. Partially because you get more comfortable with what you're doing, and partially because you start to develop more belief that you really can handle the unknown.

We're all cowards at the starting line. The key is acknowledging that and running the race anyway.

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Meet your fear with preparation

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

A few weeks back I posted about leaving the figurative coastline behind and setting sail for the impossible. Yesterday, my good friend Erden Eruc put a literal spin on that as he and Tim Harvey left Portugal in an ocean going rowing boat. They're bound for Costa Rica.

For Erden (pronounced air-DEN), this is a training row that will build the foundation for a bigger goal - The Six Summits project, a solo human-powered circumnavigation of the globe, with summit attempts on the highest peak on each of six continents.

While Erden loves the adventure element of what he's doing, what really puts the shine in his eyes is the potential for his journey to both educate and inspire schoolkids.

Over the last three years, he has spoken at countless schools across the US and Western Canada. One of my favorite exchanges that happens with the kids centers around fear.

Kid: Aren't you afraid?

Erden: What should I be afraid of?

Kid: Bears. The cold. Getting lost. (or any of a bazillion other fears that come up)

Erden: Well, what can I do about that fear? Let's talk about that.

[Exploration ensues of ways Erden can prepare for whatever the source of that fear is, rather than letting it stop him. He then asks if they might be able to do the same thing with their own fears.]

The message, of course, is that we all feel fear, but we don't need to let them stop us. We can look at them and say, "What can I do to counter that fear? What kind of preparation do I need that will minimize the source of that fear?" And then move forward.

[You can vicariously experience Erden and Tim's journey by subscribing to an e-mail update or the RSS feed (the orange xml button) on the Around-n-Over home page. They will be posting dispatches via a satellite phone connection. You can also see a real-time GPS update of their progress here. ]

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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Fearless choices, not fearful choices

So many people make their choices based on a fear of what might be, rather than in anticipation of the possibilities. Here's a great short article with some good nuggets of insight to help you make your choices fearlessly, not fearfully. It starts off by saying:

We often think that because we no longer see the monsters under the bed that we've somehow outgrown our fear as we got older. It's probably truer though that we've become MORE afraid, not less. Sure we've learned not to reach for that boiling pot of water, but when did we become afraid to explore the world around us?

All too often we make choices based on what we THINK is going to happen. We call it "learning from experience," and yet, by thinking about what might happen, we either create that, or end up with nothing because we just quit.

The article goes on to offer some ideas about make fearless choices.

• Recognize a fear-based decision.
• Think about what you WANT.
• It's not about the Fear; it's about getting there.
• Plan early.
• Do it differently.
• It might just work this time.
• Don't play it safe.

I particularly liked the author's perspective on "Do it Differently."

If you still need boiling water, you can't just reach for it like you did last time… and you can't ignore the water boiling either… so find some other way to get it.

That's a great analogy. It's so easy to stop with the assumption that it can't be done. Rather than assuming that the boiling water is forever out of our reach - based on either past experience or beliefs we have absorbed along the way - we can stop and ask ourselves, "OK, if it doesn't work this way, how else could it work?"

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst (sm)

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Weighing change vs. no-change

One of the things I sometimes do with clients to help them put things in perspective is to have them picture a scale to weigh two options they're looking at. One example of that is the whole decision to make a change.

People often take a look at change and say, "Huh-uh. Nope. No way. Not goin' there." They know it's going to bring some degree of discomfort and, worse yet, a whole lot of the unknown.

Their current situation may be uncomfortable - they may feel frustrated, bored, stuck, even withering away - but it's a known discomfort. It's a comfortable discomfort, one they're familiar with.

When they put the change/no-change option on the scale, at first glance it may seem that the unknown discomfort of change far outweighs the known discomfort of their current work. And if they look only at a single day of their life, that might well be true.

But a single day snapshot isn't the relevant picture. What belongs on the no-change side of the scale is not just the discomfort of today, but also the cumulative weight of each and every day they are going to spend in the future having the life sucked out of them by their work.

Suddenly the impact of not making a change becomes incredibly heavy. In comparison, the momentary discomfort of making a change becomes almost feather light in comparison.

If you need to make a change, but are finding it easier just to stick with the discomfort you know, ask yourself. What is my life going to look like five years from now? Ten years from now? Is it going to get better if I don't do anything about it? Is the prospect of doing something that drains my energy each and every day for the rest of my career more scary or less scary than figuring out how to make a change?

Putting things in perspective can be a key step in allowing yourself to move forward.

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Curt Rosengren

Passion Catalyst  ^SM

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Red balloons, green balloons, and overcoming fear and doubt

Whether we realize it or not, most of us are running a steady gauntlet of negative thoughts and beliefs. They affect what we can achieve in life, and often we don't even realize they exist. This article is on the mental game in rock climbing, but the ideas it outlines are equally applicable to creating what you want in your life.

Here, it talks about minimizing the effects of fear and doubt:

Become aware of your thoughts. Normally thoughts will come and go and you will hardly notice. Watch for feelings of inadequacy, criticism, feelings of stress, worry. Awareness is the first step. As you become more aware of your thoughts you can learn to control them.

Simple awareness can be a huge thing. I repeatedly see clients experience substantial changes in how they experience their lives, simply by beginning to be aware of when the negative messages they are sending pop up. "Wow! I didn't realize I did that so much," is a common response.

Rather than just saying, "I'm not going to think those negative thoughts any more," the article suggests replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

But how do you not think of something? If someone says "do not think of a red balloon", you immediately visualize a red balloon whether you want to or not. Not thinking of something is more difficult than thinking about something. When you get a thought that is counter productive, make a conscious effort to visualize it's opposite. Speak the opposite if possible, or at least speak it sub-vocally. For example: "red balloon": now think of a green balloon and say "green balloon" out loud. It is now green. Use this technique to conquer doubt, negative thoughts and reinforce your good technique, confidence, and positive self-image. You are what you think, so think what you want yourself to be.

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Curt Rosengren

Passion Catalyst  ^SM

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The antidote to worry

On Saturday I posted about an article by Brian Tracy on developing courage and overcoming fear. Tucked away at the end of that article was a paragraph I thought merited a post of its own.

The only real antitote to worry is purposeful action toward a predetermined goal or solution. Since the conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, when you get busy doing something to resolve your problem, you will not have the time or the mental capacity to worry. And before you know it, your worrysome situation will have been resolved.

I love that. And its so true. Next time you find yourself getting spooled up with anxiety on what might happen, or some challenge you're presented with, spend some time focusing on solving the problem, rather than magnifying it.

First of all, it distracts you from the worry. Second of all, it takes you out of victim mode and puts control back in your hands where it belongs. And finally, you will never, ever, ever worry yourself out of a dilemma. You've got to actively do something.

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Curt Rosengren

Passion Catalyst  ^SM

Career passion e-books