Arguing with reality

mapmaker.curtrosengren.com

Dick Richards has a great post over on Syntax & Soul about arguing with reality. It was inspired by his experience with a delayed plane in the Nashville airport. As he watched people's less-than-cool ways of responding to the situation, he says...

A phrase from Byron Katie’s book, A Thousand Names For Joy, came to mind: arguing with reality. That is what all of the agitation in the gate area was about. The plane was late. That was reality.

Passenger: I’m supposed to be in Vegas tonight.
Reality: The plane is late.

Passenger: Why do things like this always happen to me?
Reality: The plane is late.

Passenger: Damned incompetent airlines!
Reality: The plane is late.

Passenger: We should have taken an earlier flight.
Reality: The plane is late.

And then comes the zinger. The paragraph that went - for me anyway - straight to the heart of it:

When you argue with reality, you just can’t win. Never. The attempt carries with it some measure of utterly avoidable unhappiness and stress.

How often do you find yourself arguing with reality? How much energy have you wasted railing against what is?

I know my own answers to those questions are, "Too often," and, "Too much."

As Dick points out, reality will always have the upper hand. You can't win an argument with it, and the energy you waste with frustration and anger could be put to infinitely better use.

When I accept reality, I can start putting the time and energy into asking, "OK, given this situation, what can I do? What steps can I take? Where can I go? How can I use my time?"

In short, it takes me out of victim mode and lets me put my energy into moving forward.

--

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst (sm)

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Comments

[Dick Richards]

Nicely said Curt: "In short, it takes me out of victim mode and lets me put my energy into moving forward."

Glad that you liked the post!

[rob]

You can never control external circumstances but you can always control your reaction to them.

[Alex Fayle]

This reminds me of when I was a peer phone counselor at university. I wasn't very good at it because often would get people calling about coming out and the conversation would go like this:

Caller: "I'm gay and I don't want to be."

Me: "If you know you're gay, then you also know you can't change that, right?"

Caller: "Yes."

Me: "Okay, let's figure out ways to help you accept that and come out."

Caller: "But I don't want to be gay."

Me: "You know you can't change that, right?"

Caller: "Yes."

Me: "Okay, let's figure out ways to help you accept that and come out."

Caller: "But I don't want to be gay."

etc...

I have a hard time being patient with people who argue with reality.

[YUS]

Positive reactions always help any situation.

Good post!