Some of my favorites:
When desktop support technicians resolve a ticket, they are usually required to document the cause and solution to the problem. Supervisors see these records, so you have to be professional, but can usually get away with using the acronym "PEBKAC" in situations where the user caused the initial problem. PEBKAC stands for "Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair."
Patients will occasionally pretend to be unconscious. A surefire way to find them out is to pick up their hand, hold it above their face, and let go. If they smack themselves, they’re most likely unconscious; if not, they’re faking.
When helping someone fix their computer over the phone, and you want them to see if all the cables are plugged in correctly, don’t ask, “Have you checked to see if the cable is plugged in?" because the customer will always say, "Of course I did, do you think I’m a moron?" Instead say, "Remove the cable, blow the dust out of the connector, and plug it back in." The customer will most likely reply, "Hey, it’s working now—I guess that dust really builds up in there!"
Hmmmm...that last one doesn't remind me at all of an experience in the not-so-distant past when I thought my phone service was out. When I called the phone company, they very politely suggested that I unplug all of my phones, and then plug them back in. That would reset the connection. I thought that sounded strange, but agreed to do it.
When I got off the phone, I just about fell over laughing at myself when I realized what they were actually suggesting. Yup, you guessed it. A seldom used phone had been knocked off the hook. I plugged it back in, and voila! Phone service restored! ;)
I guess the PEBTE on that one (Problem Existed Between The Ears). ;)
Passion Catalyst SM