January 2007

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January 14, 2007

Getting real

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Sometimes you need a bit of reality therapy in the grey days of early January. I believe you can do/be pretty much whatever you want (with some common-sense caveats), but you have to know where you're starting from.

So first, don't make assumptions about the changes you think you want to make. Spend a few weeks finding out what you really want to do and be. Use a journal, sketch, write, think, feel. Listen to your instincts, and spare an ear for voices that are overly negative: being fearful of something can mean it's the wrong thing for you, or it may be the very thing you need to face up to in order to grow. At this point avoid asking other people what they think. (Of course you need to take others into account to whatever extent your circumstances dictate, but plan that side after you've found out what YOU want.)

Don't spend too long on this dreaming part. Set yourself a deadline otherwise drift is a big danger.

Once you know what you want, establish where you are now. Make an inventory of whatever part of your life you want to change. Finances, health, education, love life, career, whatever. (All of these? Yeah, me too, but let's just pick a couple to be getting on with, otherwise we'll get discouraged!)

Be specific and detailed in your inventory. Say you're lonely and you want to share your life with someone special, so that's your goal. You haven't had a romantic relationship for several years, your social life revolves around the same group of friends, and you never meet anyone new because you've been concentrating on your career. Plus a big part of you is really scared of commitment and you're self-conscious about your weight so the thought of using the bedroom for anything other than sleep embarrasses you, and anyway maybe no-one will want you because now you're too old. That's your detailed starting point.

Next step is to make a plan. Using this example, if you really want intimacy back in your life, then unravelling some of your negative feelings may need a bit of therapy. You obviously need to widen your social circle, and maybe one way of doing that would be to join a gym or dance class where you could start to feel more confident physically. You need to find a way to work fewer hours. Maybe your friends don't have any idea you're looking, and have someone they could introduce you to. You could join classes, a dating agency, do some voluntary work.

That's the easy part, next bit is to put your plan into action!

You get the picture: dream, detail, design, do.

And by the way, that example above? Yes, that's me, so wish me all the best, because it's scary stuff!

Happy 2007 everyone.

Teresa
www.teresamarshall.com

January 11, 2007

Actions over wishing

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Last New Year's, a friend and I sat together at her kitchen table discussing plans for the new year. She was listing her resolutions in her journal. I was staring at my own blank journal feeling as empty as the pages.

While she made decisions about her wishes for her life, I realized I didn't care about resolutions. I started writing out goals for myself. I broke them up into smaller steps, and transferred them to my note organizer on my computer when I got home.

This year, I'm amused to see so many people feel the same way I do. I think it has a lot to do with the mindset behind a resolution. I can resolve to do yoga every day all I want, but if I don't put a plan behind it, the chances are good that i will never actually do it. I wish to do this, but nothing is compelling me.

On the other hand, a well-written goal demands action. Consider my goal to do yoga daily. By starting off doing yoga three times a week, I will add a day every two weeks until I am doing yoga daily.
I've set small, attainable steps for myself to help myself grow into the habit of doing yoga on a daily basis. I feel pushed to do it for fear of letting myself down.

Maybe it's just me, but if I had to offer one piece of advice, it would be to set goals instead of resolutions for yourself. Set clearly defined goals and break them into baby steps to make them more achievable. It makes accomplishing change so much easier.

January 10, 2007

Year of the

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What will punctuate this year for you?

For many, 2006 meant working harder and resting less. Let's make 2007 the year of working less with greater results. Plan that amazing vacation NOW. Book several three day weekends NOW even if you don't know exactly what you will do. Send your boss a note with the vacation dates so you stick to the plan. If you have 2 weeks vacation coming, put all 14 days on the calendar now - if you have more time, take that too. Enjoy!

For many, 2006 was a tough year financially and many went into greater debt. Let's make 2007 the year to create more stability and save more money. Cars and fancy DVDs don't make us happy, so get rid of all those worldly belongings stacked in the corner of the garage or eating a hole through your checking account. As soon as it gets just a bit warmer he in Seattle, I am putting my Saab convertible up for sale. Not because I have to (I love that car) but because we don't need it. I don't have a car payment, but maintenance and insurance is certainly at least a couple grand per year. I should be saving these funds, investing them. We all have stuff we don't use enough to justify keeping it - let's declutter and save more. My husband and I would like to add to savings in the amount of 2-3 more months worth of bills and also top out on IRA and health savings account contributions. Having the cushion and having less stuff around feel great.

For many, 2006 did not feel very connecting - the world seemed to pull apart more than come together. Let's make 2007 a year for coming together. Experience other cultures, volunteer your time and energy, and reach out to those in need. I want to learn more about eastern Europe and Asia - people and places. And I will continue to dig deep into learning more about some of my favorite places like the very diverse New Mexico. I also want to pick back up on my Spanish language abilities (I have picked it up and dropped it many times).

Think back to 2006. If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently? Create positive momentum by starting 2007 off with these goals in mind.

Happy new year!

Lisa Haneberg
Here's my breakthrough blog.

January 02, 2007

January 2007 Collective Genius: New Year's advice

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It's time of year where people naturally look forward at the year ahead. In recognition of that, this month's Collective Genius! topic is New Year's advice. It's a free-for-all, anything goes smorgasbord of insights and ideas. The topic? New Year's advice.

Some questions to prime the pump:

  • What advice do you have for people as they look at the new year?
  • What ideas would you like to share?
  • What tools and techniques have you incorporated into looking forward in your own journey?
  • How do you turn this season into a catalyst to launch you into an amazing year?
  • What mistakes have you made in new year's past? What have you learned from that?
  • What mistakes do you see people making in their new year's planning?
  • What ideas do you have for effective goal setting?

As always, if you have insights to share that are relevant to the topic but not listed in the questions here, by all means write a post about them! The questions are just there to give your brain something to chew on.

For those of you who are new, you can find out what Collective Genius! is here, and find out how you can participate here.