unstuck = happiness
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There's a lot of irony to this. I'm sitting here typing up this post instead of doing the thing I'm stuck on. I've got to make new labels for my tea tins. I've had it on my to-do list for over a week and a half now. I've done everything but. The good news? I've got a ton of other things I've been putting off done. The labels weren't exactly high priority, and I will get them done tonight or tomorrow. Avoiding them has gotten me to cross off over 30 things on my to-do list.
I've been stuck for a while on my business. I love what I do, I have a passion for it that sometimes stuns me. But sometimes getting up and doing the work is a struggle. I had my reasons, a long list of them: we were still settling in, it was still summer, my health was still sketchy, I was busy with other things, my husband was already complaining about my lack of free time, etc. I was stuck and I was finding excuses to stay that way.
Mainly because I was comfortable. Comfortable is easy. Comfortable is reliable. Comfortable is safe. Comfortable is also boring, unchallenging and stuck.
I'm a strong believer that the place to be is just outside your own comfort zone; always pushing, trying, daring, risking.
And yet, I wasn't doing it. I was sitting safely still. I was scared.
One day I looked at my friend who was telling me about his plans for September to try and pull himself out of the rut he'd found himself in and realized, "me too." So I decided to buckle down too. September was a total refocus: on my business, on my future plans, on this thing that makes me feel like I'm making the world a better place.
I just forced myself to sit down and do the work. I talked about it to everyone who would sit still long enough. I babbled business ideas to friends. I handed out at least a couple business cards a day. I started pushing advertising on-line. I sent out samples. I looked myself in the mirror in the morning and said, "I am not 'comfortable.' I am working. My business is succeeding. I am doing this."
You know what happened? I got three orders in the first week. I connected with a dozen potential clients. I started a new play. I made up at least a dozen new words. I gave a handful of massages. My brain runs at full-tilt and my notepad has new scribbles every day.
September first, I decided to stop waiting for the time to be right. I stopped thinking that my business would just sell itself. I just took the first tentative steps of forcing the work, pushing the muse and making it happen. And it has.
What I know is that we have a choice. We can let life sweep us along, or we can make our own path. The path I want to create for my life means a lot of hard work and boring paperwork and hours of rubbing other peoples backs. I haven't been happy the past year or so where I wasn't really able to focus on my business, on my dream, because of so many other things. Something I need is a long to-do list, a busy calendar, and a big healthy challenge.
And now? Now that I'm working a dozen hours a day, and being told to occasionally sit still and stop working? Now that I forced myself slowly, and, at times, painfully away from where I was stuck?
I'm happy.
Oh, yeah, I'm still a bit scared. Busting my butt for 10-12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week... what if it doesn't work out? Yeah, it's scary. The good news is I'm too busy to worry about that. I've got these labels to worry about, and samples to send out, and gift baskets to make up, and clients to schedule for massages. Somewhere inside I'm sure I'm still scared, still nervous. I don't really have time to talk about it though - you see I'm too busy.
Busy and deliriously happy.
What aren't you doing that will make you happy?
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