Do you really want your goal?

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Being stuck is a bad feeling. I have known it a lot, and I am sure so have you. Naturally in this situation we want to get un-stuck.

What is "being stuck?"

In most definitions - mine included - it is a series of seemingly un conquerable obstacles on the path to achieving a goal. Being stuck is when these roadblocks seem to pile up and intensify the harder you push.

On any path there are obstacles, but when you are stuck they seem to grow with the energy you put into overcoming them.

I recently had a very clarifying experience in this regard. I was planning on having a dog and was researching all the things that need to happen to make that idea come true. Obviously there are a number of obstacles and hard parts about such a move. Things that that speak against taking on such a reponsibility, the financials involved, the "freedom" you loose in travel. In whole the dog just didn't happen. There was no single reason why it should not have worked out. Thinking about all those things logically none of them was a dealstopper. Going about it in a pro/con fashion didn't get me anywhere.

So at one point I simply decidedf it would be the right thing to go ahead. Everybody around me also thought it was a good idea.

Still, the cons seemed to overwhelm me in their totality. Everything was set to go, but still it didn't happen. There was always something.

Being totally frustrated with myself I went a number of steps back to the very basic question of "do I want a dog now?"

I employed muscle testing as a method to get a deeply felt answer. In that way I circumvented the logical mind. It was in a never ending logical spiral anyway and had proven to be of little use at this point.

Well guess what. The answer I got from myself was a simple "not yet."

From there out all the struggle started to make sense. Had I really wanted a dog, all those roadblocks would have been obstacles, challenges, but nothing more. But by not really wanting and supporting the idea in my core, they became dealstoppers.

And one more thing became clear to me: regardless of how many of the obstacles I would have conquered and overcome, I woould have met and found new ones just as fast as I could overcome them.

So here's a though for you when you are stuck: is the goal you are trying to achieve really something you want? And I am not talking about the "want" that you will express when asked in a conversation. I am talking about the want you feel deep in your core.

traumwind

Comments

[Michelle]

Exactly!

Often we don't take the time to identify deep down what it is we deeply desire. We think we know because we rationalise our thoughts in that pro/con way you described. It's a traditionally prescribed methodology we seem to absorb by osmosis and social conditioning.

And it's often wrong! I've learned this recently too. What we think we want needs to be tested deep down within the core of ourselves and that truth needs to be brought to the surface and accepted as such.

Moving forward can often mean saying "No!" It doesn't always have be a "yes" to get unstuck.

A good post. :)